I had all the intentions of waiting until I get everything I want for my alter before I put it together. I have a glass table that I am using for the time being. But it hit me last night that I really need to get it going if nothing more then to meditate or do a few spells at it. I have neglected and procrastinated enough. My thoughts have been random with work, personal and spiritual. I have done my divination a time of two, but intend on and want to do more. I really enjoy doing it and being able to contact those around me.

I wanted to take a moment and say my thoughts, I shall return.

I always have left my TV on b/c my puppy has a tendency to bark at everything that she hears outside. This may have contributed to the dream(s) that i had last night, but i'm not quite sure.

From what I remember, and i know i should really write it down when i wake up to remember, I was trying to get to a concert. There were obstcules that kept me from getting there. I was in my home town, then i was elsewhere like New orleans. It was a open park, where the concert was. It was right across the street from the house I was in, but had to go back home to change. I get home and there are balloons and stuff hanging around in one of the rooms with my ex's name on them. He had wrote a poem on the walls, even though he was with me. It's like he was with me standing there, and had done this and it transformed to who I am with now standing with me. All I could do was smile at the jesture even though i had no clue what it was for or about.

Then we ended up at the dead endroad by my parents house going toward it trying to get somewhere and ended up turning around in the yard to go another way. It was like i was on a go cart being so low to the ground. Went to drive over a little creek, still low to the ground, and hitting it not being able to go to the other side due to a hill on the other side.

I'm jupming back and forth as i'm trying to remember the whole things. This may be future things coming, who knows. All I know is it's crazy and i plan on remembering more so I shall return...maybe

have spent the last 2 weeks going to book a million and purchasing anywhere from 50-80 dollars worth in books. All Wicca, spell, tarot related. My new familier (human male) wanted me to read his tarot and it had been so long I did not know whether I still had it or not. I proceeded to do the traditional 10 card layout and everything was on point as it was before. I could not believe that after all this time, I'd say about 6 months, I was still able to throw the cards and do what i did. i believe after that it's like a bike. If you have the knowledge and power within your self, it really never goes away.

A couple of weeks ago I finally got the urge to clean out my extra bedroom and clean out my boxes. I was SO eager to find my pendulam as well as other parts of my alter. I also had to go to my previous ome to get my suitcase with the rest of my alter 'equipment' inside. I have a temporary table, glass, as my alter. I haven't been able to set it up because my puppy has used it to look out the window. I will 'clean' it when I start to use it. in the meantime, I have been buying more things for it, more parts and pieces. I am very excited to have a familier who accepts all of me. It is something to get use to, but after a while I will not even notice it at all.

I used my pendulam last night in front of my fimilar and he was amazed. Probably because he asked questions that I would not know and it came out correct. He lost his sister in '96 and she was in the room and was able to answer questions that I would not know through her. I did find out, unless it was a lie which I asked, that my Spirit guide's name, which is really long, I call Mak. We will see what happens tonight if I decide to talk to 'him' again and see what 'his' name is tonight.

I wish everyone a blessed night as I go to chant, possibly play with the pendulam and/or read.

Blessed Be

I'm sitting here day after day knowing i need to get back on this particular journal and open up my spritual side once again. I neglect so many things that appear to keep me 'sane'. I take the time to write in my regular journal and this my spritual journal. It keeps me less stressed. i have a place a vent, talk, express my concern and worries that I may be expressing or feeling inside. Even though I have many friends and people I feel I can tell anything to, I still don't tell anyone everything. I still keep things stuck back inside until it comes out in a frustrated state, or emotional state, or even cry about it for no apparent reason.
For the past couples of months, since i have finally moved out of hell and into my own apartment, I have been thinking about getting back on my spritual path that I once was. I can honestly say that like everyone else, I have 'fallen' off the path. Either for one reason or another. First it was because the person I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with decided to break my heart. Hind site, I realize that he was not for me. I kept my spritual self pretty much in the 'closet' and didn't let myself out for almost 2 years. Toward the end when everything and everyone around me was letting me know it wasn't right, i finally realized it.
Then, I spent much of 6 months at roomdrama. Trust me, it fits the situation. Now, I am in my apartment and have been here for almost 3 months. I finally am able to set up my alter, do my chanting and be able to do MY own thing without worrying about what anyone would say. You know that even though it's a individual thing, people's negatively tend to make it not so enjoyable.

I refuse to neglect this anymore. I want to use this as my online Book of Shadows, as I have stated before. I just got in some new items for my alter which I will be posting pictures of shortly.

I'm now going to get in the shower, chant, and goto bed. This weekend, the alter will go up I just need to go buy some more candles.

Goodnight and Blessed Be

With all that is going on in New Orleans and the hurricane, there s no wonder that i have a dream about flooding. If i haven't mentioned this before, i have dreams that come true. I do not remember the dreams until they play themselves out at that time.

Well, all i can remember is that I was in a hotel near the ocean. For some odd reason , there was a flood and i could go on top of the hotel watching the waves and the huge damage that it was doing....but it didn't make it to us. i kept going to tell mom and dad that we NEEDED to go before it hit us. The water kept getting closer and we kept staing there and I did not know exactly why.

Well, after a period of time, it went down and some places were up and some were not. It's hard to put on paper the entire dream but i remember bits and pieces. I will add more later